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  • Essay / The perception of divorce in Hindu marriages

    Marriage is a common practice in almost all cultures and religions around the world, and although the ceremonies and laws surrounding these marriages may differ between cultures, the concept is essentially the same: two people (usually a man and a woman) legally commit to spending the rest of their lives together. However, the marriage does not always work out the way the couple wanted and they may choose to end their marriage through a legal divorce. Here in America, we are desensitized to divorce and I think it's safe to say that almost everyone living in America probably knows someone who has been through at least one divorce. That being said, not all cultures feel the same way Americans do about divorce. In India, and more particularly in the Hindu tradition, divorce is still more or less a taboo today, and it is not easily accepted by a community when a couple chooses to divorce. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get an Original Essay To better understand divorce in the context of India's most dominant tradition, it may be helpful to start by discussing marriage. Marriage for Hindus, as for most people in other cultures, is a sacred union of two people uniting their lives and families. In Hinduism, marriage is an “essential sanakara” (Sharma, Hinduism, marriage and mental illness) for every Hindu. Marriage is an obligation of all Hindus so that the man and his wife can start a family, as it is believed that only those who have a family can be happy. It is said that a man and a woman (in Hinduism) are half of each other and once married, they complete each other. According to Sharma, there are three sacramental aspects of marriage under Hindu law. These three characteristics are: First, marriage should not be used to satisfy a person's physical needs, but rather for "the fulfillment of religious and spiritual duties." Secondly (and this is a key aspect of this essay), marriage is a sacramental union and this therefore implies that marriage cannot be dissolved for any reason. Third, the union of marriage means the union of “soul, body, and spirit,” and this union “is not only for this life, but also for all lives to come.” The union is not only for this world, but also for other worlds. »[1] Not only is marriage important to Hindus for the above reasons, but it is also an important social aspect. Marriage is the basis not only for starting a new family, but also for joining and establishing a relationship between the two existing families (that of the husband and wife). Because of the importance of uniting two families, marriages between Hindus in India are almost always arranged by the couple's parents and the children are expected to accept it. These types of marriages usually last forever despite the lack of parental involvement in the couple. The main aim of a Hindu marriage is for the husband to make his wife happy and the wife to make her husband happy. By doing so, the couple can start a family, have children, and love the children unconditionally. This keeps the family “united and prevents its breakdown” (Sharma, Marriage and Mental Illness). As S. Pothen explains in his essay “Divorce in Hindu Society,” when a couple marries, both husband and wife have an obligation to “adjust” their personal characteristics in order to better match their spouse. (Pothen, 381). By making such adjustments, the couple has morechances of avoiding divorce and other marital problems. If these rules are followed and the couple works hard enough, there is no reason for the marriage to end. Divorce in India is much less common than in the United States. Although it's a bit dated, according to the 1981 census, almost ten percent of American couples reported divorce. In 1981 in India, the divorce rate was reported to be less than 1 percent (0.74%) for married couples aged 15 to 44 (Amato, 209). Although these numbers seem incredibly low, several factors reveal the possibility of immense inaccuracy. One reason these numbers might be wrong is the legality of how divorces are granted in India. Unlike in the United States, divorces in India are not decided by the courts, but rather by a caste panchayat (a council). Since couples do not go through a real court system to obtain their divorce, no records of the divorce are kept, making it almost seem like it never happened and preventing it from being recorded. visible in legal statistical registers.[2] Other explanations for these figures involve reasons due to social complications rather than legal action. Because divorce in the Hindu tradition is so looked down upon, many people simply do not report their divorce because they are afraid of the shame it could potentially cause not only their family, but also possibly the community. For this same reason, many couples who no longer love each other or simply don't want to be together will separate, but never divorce. When this happens, the couple may still live together, but they will never truly be "together" like they once were. Using this form of separation, divorce statistics remain lower than they would have been if divorce had been more of an option. Despite all this, divorce is increasingly common, even if it still remains little accepted in India and in Hinduism in particular. In a Hindu marriage, when something goes wrong, divorce can become an option and sometimes an inevitability. In his excerpt “The Efficacy of the Hindu Sacrament (Samskara): Caste, Marriage, and Divorce in Bengali Culture,” Ralph W. Nicholas helps us break down some statistics on divorce in the Hindu tradition in the specific region of Bengal. Nicholas points out that although divorce in general is not very common, the divorce rate is distributed very unevenly across castes. Due to the importance of the samskara of marriage, divorce in Hinduism is often considered irreversible and "unthinkable" since there is no way to reverse the rituals of the marriage ceremony, but it nevertheless remains a reality for some couples.[3] According to Nicolas, divorce is much more common in lower castes than in upper castes or middle-class castes. He states: "Moreover, marriages among the lower castes, where the bride price (which is recognized, in many utilitarian anthropological works, to ensure marital stability) is still generally paid, end in divorce more often than those of any other caste. » (Harlan, 144). Although the above statements and assertions are specific to Hindu divorce in Bengal, they are not that different from anywhere else in the world when it comes to Hindu divorce. Before 1955, divorce was possible, but not necessarily likely. Even if a divorce were possible, it would likely have been requested or requested by the husband rather than the wife. In 1955, the Hindu Marriage Act was passed. Under thelaw, it was stipulated that “…both husband and wife have the right to have their marriage dissolved by a decree of divorce on more than one ground specifically enumerated in Article 13” (Anoop, 4). These grounds specified in Article 13 are as follows: 1. The man or woman has sexual relations with someone other than their spouse; 2. The man or woman has converted to another religion; 3. The man or woman becomes "incurably unsound of mind, or suffers continuously or intermittently from mental disorder of such kind and to such degree that the applicant cannot reasonably be expected to live with the defendant. » [4] This Hindu marriage law of 1955 greatly benefited married couples who no longer wanted to stay together for one reason or another by making divorce easier. Despite this, no-fault divorces were (and are) difficult to obtain since the husband and wife are obligated to agree on the divorce. As stated earlier, divorce is looked down upon for several reasons, one of the main ones being the importance of the rite of marriage. This is also very undesirable for the families of the divorcing couple because of the shame and embarrassment it brings them. Although divorce is embarrassing for both the husband's and wife's families, it is worse for the wife's family. In addition to the acceptable grounds for divorce set out in Section 13 of the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955, Sriya Iyer outlines the "acceptable" reasons for seeking divorce specifically for women. These reasons are as follows: if her husband is “bad”, if he has gone abroad permanently, if he is guilty of high treason, if he is dangerous for his wife, if he has become an outcast or if he has lost his penis. motivation or masculinity (Iyer, 31-32). Although this list seems reasonable, filing for divorce under any of these circumstances is still not considered an adequate reason. Hindu tradition holds that a woman should never divorce her husband for any reason, regardless of the reason. . If a divorce is granted, whether it is a no-fault divorce or a fault divorce (the "fault" being either the wife's or the husband's), it is still generally considered the divorce being the woman's fault. An example of this would be a woman who files for divorce from her husband after he has been unfaithful to her or after he has persistently mistreated her. In the case of the unfaithful husband, the wife is always considered to be at fault. Common reasons given for why it was her fault include the belief that the wife doesn't "work hard" enough for her husband or that she isn't attractive enough. In the case of the abusive husband, it is widely believed that it is the wife's fault, because she must be doing something wrong to incite her husband; A husband who beats his wife is not wrong because he keeps her under control. Divorce will be granted, but it will still be considered the woman's fault. In modern times, with the increasing level of education of women and the increase in the number of feminists, there is a fear that the right to divorce will become even more "liberal" and that divorce will eventually become even easier to obtain while at the same time becoming more acceptable. This conception of the claim is considered "dangerous" due to the fact that with more lax divorce laws and with more educated women, the traditions of Hindu family dynamics are likely to change or be altered in some ways. one way or another (Shrama, 125). ).A couple who divorces will most often return to their parents (the man returns to his family and the woman returns to hers). Men and women who experience divorce receive support from their families. Even if the..