An Analysis of the Distinct Nature of the Urhobo People with Respect to Marriage and Family Life Niger is an indigenous people of Nigeria. It is estimated that around 2 million Nigerians are Urhobos. The Urhobos are the fifth most populous ethnic group in the country and the most populous ethnic group in Delta State. The Urhobo people are concentrated in these towns: Abraka, Effurun, Sapele, Ugheli and Warri. The language of the Urhobo people is called Urhobo (Logaby, 2013). The history of the Urhobo people is generally said to have begun in Edo territory, present-day Benin City. It is believed that at the end of the Ogiso dynasty, the Urhobos left the ancient city of Udo where they once stood and moved to other territories of peaceful settlement. Urhobo shares a common origin with its neighboring tribes: Ndokwa, Kwale, Isoko, Bini, Itsekiri and Ijaw because they all come from the same Bini empire. The Urhobo people, although united, are made up of 22 autonomous kingdoms namely: Evwreni, Idjerhe, Agbon, Ughwerun Avwraka, Eghwu, Okpe, Ephron-oto, Ogor, Agbarha-Ame (Agbassa), Agbarho Okere, Okparabe, Udu , Ughelli, Ughievwen. , Arhavwarien, Uvwie, Oghara, Agbarha, Olomu and Orogun. Each of the kingdoms is ruled by the king or clan leader called Ovie or Okpara-Uku. Although the Urhobos share an origin and other similarities with their neighboring tribes, they have clearly distinguished themselves in certain aspects of their culture. This article would discuss the distinct nature of the Urhobo people with regard to marriage, family life and festivals. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get the original essay Nature of Marriage Marriage, in general, is the unification of a man and a woman, which is socially and morally acceptable in a society. In Urhobo culture, marriage is considered a divine and cultural unification not only between the couple, but between two families. Families play an important role in ensuring the success of the relationship through all its phases; from engagement through marriage negotiations to the wedding itself. Furthermore, the families of the bride and groom are expected to intervene to resolve any problems or conflicts within the marriage (Urhobo People and Culture, 2013). There are different forms of courtship and marriage in Urhobo culture: Esavwijotor Esavwijotor is a marriage commitment made by parents when their son or daughter is young. This may be based on established family ties, a business alliance or the particular character observed in the child. Normally, marriage is not based on love, as it is promised since the potential spouses were young. However, love can develop once you get married. Ose Ose is an unconventional form of marriage in which no dowry has been paid, but the union remains binding. It is similar to the concubine. Couples can live together or live separately. They have all the marital rights and exclusivity of a real marriage, but restricted customary (legal) rights, such as the right to bury and mourn in-laws. (Peter Palmer Ekeh, 2005). Arranged marriage in absentia In this case, a man who lives abroad commits his family to marry a woman on his behalf. The two potential spouses may not have seen or met each other at that time. A representative replaces the groom during the wedding ceremony. It may be obligatory for the wife to stay with the future husband's family for a while, after which she will be with him and live fully ashis wife. Love should develop during marriage. In some cases, either partner may reject the marriage and annul it. The Marriage Process Premarital Activities This stage of the process begins when the groom and his family designate a friend or relative to communicate their interest to the bride's family. This representative becomes the intermediary between families at all stages of the marriage process. Prior to this, the man's family must have conducted discreet investigations to uncover any undesirable hereditary illnesses or intolerable traits or behaviors exhibited by his mother. Many Uhrobo believe that a mother's behavior can indicate her daughter's future behavior in her marital home (Edevbie, no date). Once the man's family is satisfied, the representative formally approaches the girl's parents to officially declare the man's interest in marrying her. Typically, the man's family sends gifts to the woman's parents to increase the chances that they will treat the request favorably. Usually the answer is not given at that time, but after the intermediary has returned several times. During this time, the girls have the opportunity to conduct their own investigation into their future in-laws and also discuss the proposal within the family. If the results are good, the proposal is accepted and the message is passed on to the man and his family through the intermediary (Edevbie, undated). Negotiating Bride Price and Its Importance The potential husband and his family visit the bride's family several times to negotiate certain pre-conditions for marriage stipulated by the bride's family, including the bride price. The bride's fee does not only consist of money, but also includes other symbolic gifts in the form of kola nuts, bitter kola, honey and gin or palm wine. Payment of bride's fees in traditional Urhobo marriage serves many purposes. It guarantees and legitimizes the woman's place in the home and in society, because she is now a married woman and enjoys a higher status than before. It approves and authorizes the lifestyle of a woman residing in her husband's home. It legitimizes the place or role of children in the family. Children whose father has neglected to pay the dowry are considered emọrọse (children born out of wedlock) and face discrimination both within the family and society. Paying bride price is a reminder to the husband to cherish his wife and treat her with respect. It is a sign that the bride's family approves of her marriage. Thus, the bride marries with the assurance that she can count on the support of her family if she ever needs it. Although bridal fees are already known in each region, negotiating bridal fees is complex. The individuals involved tend to speak indirectly, using Urhobo proverbs and idioms to instruct or make demands. When negotiating, the bride's side tends to ask for more money, emphasizing their daughter's superior virtues and qualities. The other party tries to reduce the price by asking for compassion, given all their previous efforts. The bride's family usually responds favorably, provided the fee is not lower than local standards. This negotiation can last for a long period of time until both parties become tired and thus choose to reach an acceptable settlement. The wedding ceremony: payment of the bride price and delivery of the bride On the day of the ceremony, the groom's family will arrive at the bride's home. The bride's familywill offer drinks, kola nuts and money, in accordance with Urhobo tradition. After this preliminary entertainment, the guests are asked why they have come. The guests declare that they have come with the intention of marrying their son's fiancée. If the bride's family accepts this proposal, then comes the process of identifying the bride she wishes to marry. The bride's family will parade about four girls in front of the groom, who will reject them all. The groom's family should pay money to the rejected girls. Then the bride is introduced to the groom to verify the true identity of his future bride. Once identified, the bride is asked if she wishes to marry the man. The bride's family can only receive the bride's fee if they agree. Then the groom or his family pays the bride's expenses to the bride's family, and upon acceptance, the bride's father pours a libation to the gods and ancestors. “The libation is poured with a local gin (ogogoro) or can be represented by Gordon gin and kola nuts.” The head of the family recites a prayer “in a spirit of ẹkpẹvwẹ (thanksgiving) towards God and in remembrance of the ancestors, to whom he appeals to bless the marriage. It invokes the five themes traditionally used in Urhobo prayers, namely ufuoma (peace), omakpokpọ (good health), emọ (children), efe (wealth) and otọvwe (long life).” The bride then sits on her husband's lap. The gin is given to the husband to drink who, after his first sip, hands it to his wife who is also drinking and returns it to him to finish, as a sign of respect. Once this is done, they are declared husband and wife and both families shower the couple with money. It is the last stage of a complete marriage according to Urhobo custom. It is the offering of the bride as a wife to the groom's family. After the wedding ceremony, the two families come together to set a date to move the bride into her husband's house. The groom's family and friends are waiting to welcome his new bride. They hold a special ceremony to call on the husband's ancestors to also accept her and bind her to her husband. There is a marital blessing during which parents and older family members pray and bless the bride and her marriage. Festivities celebrating the arrival of the bride will continue throughout the night and well into the following morning. When we compare the traditional Urhobo marriage with today's Urhobo marriage, some differences emerge. These differences may be attributed to the influence of Western culture or changing values in society. Boy-Girl Courtship This is the most commonly used courtship process in modern marriages, as opposed to the traditional processes listed previously. In some cases, parents may not be aware of the initial courtship and may not be involved at all until their son or daughter informs them. Both families then become involved and plans for a wedding are initiated. Modern Wedding Process Most modern weddings still preserve some aspects of traditional wedding rites, in addition to a religious ceremony and registry. Family Involvement From the court scene to the wedding ceremony to the couple's life after marriage, traditional marriage is centered around families. Traditional marriage encourages family intervention or mediation, which reduces the chances of divorce or separation, but family intervention in contemporary marriages is considered interference. The wedding is between the bride and groom, so families do not need to be actively involved. The basis of traditional marriage is wealth, prestige andchildren. Love, whether it comes later or not, is not at the forefront. On the other hand, Western influence has fostered the idea that marriage cannot function without love inspiring future couples to see and love each other before and during marriage. In modern marriage, people marry because they are in love. Monogamy Traditional Urhobo marriage is polygamous in nature. This allows the husband to marry as many wives as he can afford. However, polygamy has faded in modern times, due to the prevalence of marriages based on love and the social taboo now attached to it. Modern Urhobo marriage is monogamous. “Monogamous marriage consists of the exchange of mutual vows by the couple to the exclusion of other women.” Traditionally, there are double standards among the Urhobos, whose gods punish women who commit adultery while men are spared. The husband can marry as many women as he wants or have as many affairs as he wants without punishment, while a married woman dare not allow her hand to be held by another man. “Usually, Eri/Erivwi (the spirit of the ancestors) will attack the woman with some illness and even kill her husband and children until she confesses or an oracle reveals it. Atonement is based on a deeply held belief among the Urhobos that one who defiled the ancestors needs to be purified to avoid their wrath. The woman is stigmatized for the rest of her life and forced to sacrifice a goat to appease the deity and ritually purify her before she can continue with her marriage if the man does not send her.” In a modern marriage, adultery is always wrong, regardless of who commits it. However, modern Nigerian society still retains much of its patriarchal ideals and therefore, even in modern society, the condemnation of adultery is even harsher for the woman. In a modern marriage, women are given the right to property upon the death of their husband. , providing them with the necessary support. This system recognizes the contributions of women to the creation and management of the family home. She is also entitled to her spouse's pension. Modern Urhobo women now have both traditional marriage and Western marriage, which excludes polygamy. Financial independence from their husbands, through better education, freedom and less tolerance, has led to an increase in the number of divorces. Women are now more aware of their legal rights in marriage and exercise these rights more often. For example, a woman can now evict her husband for domestic violence. Based on the implications of the above differences between traditional and modern Urhobo marriage, certain aspects of traditional marriage should be retained as part of cultural heritage, while certain aspects should be discarded. The aspects of cultural marriage that are cherished and should be retained are the involvement of family in the marriage and the concept of joint celebrations among family, friends and villages. On the other hand, some elements of traditional marriage should be discarded. Polygamy and its effects on women in society should continue to disappear. The suppressed rights of women during courtship, marriage and within marriage should also be maintained. Another aspect to discard is the concept of Omot'ohwofa. Its literal meaning is: “a girl is another person”. But connotatively, it means that it is a waste of money to educate a girl child, because she would eventually marry, change her maiden name and join her husband's family. So even if it is your.

Essay / An Analysis of the Distinct Nature of the Urhobo People with Respect to Marriage and Family Life Niger is an indigenous people of Nigeria. It is estimated that around 2 million Nigerians are Urhobos. The Urhobos are the fifth most populous ethnic group in the country and the most populous ethnic group in Delta State. The Urhobo people are concentrated in these towns: Abraka, Effurun, Sapele, Ugheli and Warri. The language of the Urhobo people is called Urhobo (Logaby, 2013). The history of the Urhobo people is generally said to have begun in Edo territory, present-day Benin City. It is believed that at the end of the Ogiso dynasty, the Urhobos left the ancient city of Udo where they once stood and moved to other territories of peaceful settlement. Urhobo shares a common origin with its neighboring tribes: Ndokwa, Kwale, Isoko, Bini, Itsekiri and Ijaw because they all come from the same Bini empire. The Urhobo people, although united, are made up of 22 autonomous kingdoms namely: Evwreni, Idjerhe, Agbon, Ughwerun Avwraka, Eghwu, Okpe, Ephron-oto, Ogor, Agbarha-Ame (Agbassa), Agbarho Okere, Okparabe, Udu , Ughelli, Ughievwen. , Arhavwarien, Uvwie, Oghara, Agbarha, Olomu and Orogun. Each of the kingdoms is ruled by the king or clan leader called Ovie or Okpara-Uku. Although the Urhobos share an origin and other similarities with their neighboring tribes, they have clearly distinguished themselves in certain aspects of their culture. This article would discuss the distinct nature of the Urhobo people with regard to marriage, family life and festivals. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get the original essay Nature of Marriage Marriage, in general, is the unification of a man and a woman, which is socially and morally acceptable in a society. In Urhobo culture, marriage is considered a divine and cultural unification not only between the couple, but between two families. Families play an important role in ensuring the success of the relationship through all its phases; from engagement through marriage negotiations to the wedding itself. Furthermore, the families of the bride and groom are expected to intervene to resolve any problems or conflicts within the marriage (Urhobo People and Culture, 2013). There are different forms of courtship and marriage in Urhobo culture: Esavwijotor Esavwijotor is a marriage commitment made by parents when their son or daughter is young. This may be based on established family ties, a business alliance or the particular character observed in the child. Normally, marriage is not based on love, as it is promised since the potential spouses were young. However, love can develop once you get married. Ose Ose is an unconventional form of marriage in which no dowry has been paid, but the union remains binding. It is similar to the concubine. Couples can live together or live separately. They have all the marital rights and exclusivity of a real marriage, but restricted customary (legal) rights, such as the right to bury and mourn in-laws. (Peter Palmer Ekeh, 2005). Arranged marriage in absentia In this case, a man who lives abroad commits his family to marry a woman on his behalf. The two potential spouses may not have seen or met each other at that time. A representative replaces the groom during the wedding ceremony. It may be obligatory for the wife to stay with the future husband's family for a while, after which she will be with him and live fully ashis wife. Love should develop during marriage. In some cases, either partner may reject the marriage and annul it. The Marriage Process Premarital Activities This stage of the process begins when the groom and his family designate a friend or relative to communicate their interest to the bride's family. This representative becomes the intermediary between families at all stages of the marriage process. Prior to this, the man's family must have conducted discreet investigations to uncover any undesirable hereditary illnesses or intolerable traits or behaviors exhibited by his mother. Many Uhrobo believe that a mother's behavior can indicate her daughter's future behavior in her marital home (Edevbie, no date). Once the man's family is satisfied, the representative formally approaches the girl's parents to officially declare the man's interest in marrying her. Typically, the man's family sends gifts to the woman's parents to increase the chances that they will treat the request favorably. Usually the answer is not given at that time, but after the intermediary has returned several times. During this time, the girls have the opportunity to conduct their own investigation into their future in-laws and also discuss the proposal within the family. If the results are good, the proposal is accepted and the message is passed on to the man and his family through the intermediary (Edevbie, undated). Negotiating Bride Price and Its Importance The potential husband and his family visit the bride's family several times to negotiate certain pre-conditions for marriage stipulated by the bride's family, including the bride price. The bride's fee does not only consist of money, but also includes other symbolic gifts in the form of kola nuts, bitter kola, honey and gin or palm wine. Payment of bride's fees in traditional Urhobo marriage serves many purposes. It guarantees and legitimizes the woman's place in the home and in society, because she is now a married woman and enjoys a higher status than before. It approves and authorizes the lifestyle of a woman residing in her husband's home. It legitimizes the place or role of children in the family. Children whose father has neglected to pay the dowry are considered emọrọse (children born out of wedlock) and face discrimination both within the family and society. Paying bride price is a reminder to the husband to cherish his wife and treat her with respect. It is a sign that the bride's family approves of her marriage. Thus, the bride marries with the assurance that she can count on the support of her family if she ever needs it. Although bridal fees are already known in each region, negotiating bridal fees is complex. The individuals involved tend to speak indirectly, using Urhobo proverbs and idioms to instruct or make demands. When negotiating, the bride's side tends to ask for more money, emphasizing their daughter's superior virtues and qualities. The other party tries to reduce the price by asking for compassion, given all their previous efforts. The bride's family usually responds favorably, provided the fee is not lower than local standards. This negotiation can last for a long period of time until both parties become tired and thus choose to reach an acceptable settlement. The wedding ceremony: payment of the bride price and delivery of the bride On the day of the ceremony, the groom's family will arrive at the bride's home. The bride's familywill offer drinks, kola nuts and money, in accordance with Urhobo tradition. After this preliminary entertainment, the guests are asked why they have come. The guests declare that they have come with the intention of marrying their son's fiancée. If the bride's family accepts this proposal, then comes the process of identifying the bride she wishes to marry. The bride's family will parade about four girls in front of the groom, who will reject them all. The groom's family should pay money to the rejected girls. Then the bride is introduced to the groom to verify the true identity of his future bride. Once identified, the bride is asked if she wishes to marry the man. The bride's family can only receive the bride's fee if they agree. Then the groom or his family pays the bride's expenses to the bride's family, and upon acceptance, the bride's father pours a libation to the gods and ancestors. “The libation is poured with a local gin (ogogoro) or can be represented by Gordon gin and kola nuts.” The head of the family recites a prayer “in a spirit of ẹkpẹvwẹ (thanksgiving) towards God and in remembrance of the ancestors, to whom he appeals to bless the marriage. It invokes the five themes traditionally used in Urhobo prayers, namely ufuoma (peace), omakpokpọ (good health), emọ (children), efe (wealth) and otọvwe (long life).” The bride then sits on her husband's lap. The gin is given to the husband to drink who, after his first sip, hands it to his wife who is also drinking and returns it to him to finish, as a sign of respect. Once this is done, they are declared husband and wife and both families shower the couple with money. It is the last stage of a complete marriage according to Urhobo custom. It is the offering of the bride as a wife to the groom's family. After the wedding ceremony, the two families come together to set a date to move the bride into her husband's house. The groom's family and friends are waiting to welcome his new bride. They hold a special ceremony to call on the husband's ancestors to also accept her and bind her to her husband. There is a marital blessing during which parents and older family members pray and bless the bride and her marriage. Festivities celebrating the arrival of the bride will continue throughout the night and well into the following morning. When we compare the traditional Urhobo marriage with today's Urhobo marriage, some differences emerge. These differences may be attributed to the influence of Western culture or changing values in society. Boy-Girl Courtship This is the most commonly used courtship process in modern marriages, as opposed to the traditional processes listed previously. In some cases, parents may not be aware of the initial courtship and may not be involved at all until their son or daughter informs them. Both families then become involved and plans for a wedding are initiated. Modern Wedding Process Most modern weddings still preserve some aspects of traditional wedding rites, in addition to a religious ceremony and registry. Family Involvement From the court scene to the wedding ceremony to the couple's life after marriage, traditional marriage is centered around families. Traditional marriage encourages family intervention or mediation, which reduces the chances of divorce or separation, but family intervention in contemporary marriages is considered interference. The wedding is between the bride and groom, so families do not need to be actively involved. The basis of traditional marriage is wealth, prestige andchildren. Love, whether it comes later or not, is not at the forefront. On the other hand, Western influence has fostered the idea that marriage cannot function without love inspiring future couples to see and love each other before and during marriage. In modern marriage, people marry because they are in love. Monogamy Traditional Urhobo marriage is polygamous in nature. This allows the husband to marry as many wives as he can afford. However, polygamy has faded in modern times, due to the prevalence of marriages based on love and the social taboo now attached to it. Modern Urhobo marriage is monogamous. “Monogamous marriage consists of the exchange of mutual vows by the couple to the exclusion of other women.” Traditionally, there are double standards among the Urhobos, whose gods punish women who commit adultery while men are spared. The husband can marry as many women as he wants or have as many affairs as he wants without punishment, while a married woman dare not allow her hand to be held by another man. “Usually, Eri/Erivwi (the spirit of the ancestors) will attack the woman with some illness and even kill her husband and children until she confesses or an oracle reveals it. Atonement is based on a deeply held belief among the Urhobos that one who defiled the ancestors needs to be purified to avoid their wrath. The woman is stigmatized for the rest of her life and forced to sacrifice a goat to appease the deity and ritually purify her before she can continue with her marriage if the man does not send her.” In a modern marriage, adultery is always wrong, regardless of who commits it. However, modern Nigerian society still retains much of its patriarchal ideals and therefore, even in modern society, the condemnation of adultery is even harsher for the woman. In a modern marriage, women are given the right to property upon the death of their husband. , providing them with the necessary support. This system recognizes the contributions of women to the creation and management of the family home. She is also entitled to her spouse's pension. Modern Urhobo women now have both traditional marriage and Western marriage, which excludes polygamy. Financial independence from their husbands, through better education, freedom and less tolerance, has led to an increase in the number of divorces. Women are now more aware of their legal rights in marriage and exercise these rights more often. For example, a woman can now evict her husband for domestic violence. Based on the implications of the above differences between traditional and modern Urhobo marriage, certain aspects of traditional marriage should be retained as part of cultural heritage, while certain aspects should be discarded. The aspects of cultural marriage that are cherished and should be retained are the involvement of family in the marriage and the concept of joint celebrations among family, friends and villages. On the other hand, some elements of traditional marriage should be discarded. Polygamy and its effects on women in society should continue to disappear. The suppressed rights of women during courtship, marriage and within marriage should also be maintained. Another aspect to discard is the concept of Omot'ohwofa. Its literal meaning is: “a girl is another person”. But connotatively, it means that it is a waste of money to educate a girl child, because she would eventually marry, change her maiden name and join her husband's family. So even if it is your.

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