-
Essay / I hate making the bed
A common problem I face when I get up is having to make the bed. What's more boring than the monotonous task done every day, over and over again? Yet every day the sheets fight back, the pillows leak, the bed itself fights against you. What goal is more noble than to free humanity itself from this ritual, sparing 5 minutes from each bed possessing a man, a woman and a child. What more could we accomplish as a people? I was forced to make the bed when I was a child, and every day my mother would say to me: ¨Shalom, you lazy person, make the bed!¨ Every day I would say: ¨Please, no, mom ...I don't want to either!" She always won, and, furtively, I dragged myself to make the bed again. Why, when we would have to start all over again? I rack my brains day after day. In fact, almost every time I'm making the bed, I'm trying to find a way to solve the problem. Finally, I think I've found it. Get a custom essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get an original essayWhy not make cots, not beds, the norm? I don't understand the appeal of regular beds. But no, my mother refuses to buy cots and asks my father to. buy even more beds Well, just a few weeks ago we spent several hundred dollars on a massive, unsightly bed, when we could have spent less than $100 on a beautiful, perfect cot. It is inefficient to buy a bed, both financially and in terms of time consumption. I am saddened to witness this atrocity against humanity. It is a stain that must be cleansed, whatever the cost. I would gladly sacrifice every bed in America to replace them with cribs, and it would be well worth it. We must adopt a simple, definitive solution to America's bed problem: mass internment and extermination camps. The bed is a parasite, sucking up the time and energy of our people, and we must treat it as such. This response may seem bad, excessive, inhumane, but it is absolutely necessary. Building vast furnaces to facilitate their destruction and gaping landfills to store their remains will create millions of jobs and help grow our economy. Recycled metal, salvaged from beds that no longer need it, can be used to fuel America's vast war machine, their fiber skins reintegrated into ropes and their wooden skeletons burned to charcoal and sold. In the future, I can only hope that humanity realizes this menace and cleanses it from our midst. Say we don't do this and allow the bed menace to spread even further. Think about the children. Perhaps in the distant future, when sentient beds have appeared and surpassed humanity (a scenario not far from the truth, if mechanization and the trend of adding computers to everything continues), our children will will ask, "Why didn't you stop them when you had the chance?" Well, why didn't you do it? But the astute listener will respond with something like: “Well, why wouldn't sentient beds overtake humanity? » The answer, my dear reader, is that cots are not custom-made, robotic, or waiting to overtake humanity. Beds, on the other hand, are. Well, not long ago I saw with my own eyes an advertisement for a bed that could move up and down, and even fold "to prevent snoring." The imbeciles! The imbeciles! How long will it take before they sink deeper into the..