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  • Essay / Importance of being a non-judgmental person

    Every human is born with a natural instinct to judge. Regardless of the situation we face or the person we interact with, there is a continuous incentive in the mind to analyze information and eventually draw conclusions based on how we perceive an ongoing process. Whether at work, as a couple or with friends, we continue to form our opinions about those with whom we deal. While it may be absolutely impossible for a human being to undo this process, it is also possible to manage it well enough to avoid seeming condemnatory, condescending, or simply judgmental. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get an original essay Perhaps an understanding of the correct meaning of the word “judgment” could help provide food for thought. The Collins Dictionary defines judgment as criticizing others or situations by forming opinions about them very quickly when it would have been better to acquire and consider more information about the individual or the situation. From the above definition, it is deducible that forming an opinion about others or the situation is in no way an unhealthy act. However, the problem might actually be the pace and manner in which this opinion is formed. That’s what being non-judgmental is all about. Being non-judgmental does not imply that conclusions are not ultimately drawn, but rather that these conclusions are derived from careful examination of the element on the ground, such that objectivity, not emotionality, become the driving force. When making a judgment, there is an emotional charge. which is often misleading. Emotions themselves are an imperfect summary. Feelings are bound to interfere to the extent that one acts through emotions. Emotions are rooted in a person's experiences, thoughts, personal ideas, and spirituality. To this end, the judgment leans more towards the negative pole than towards the positive pole. Even the Holy Bible is not silent on this subject as it frequently condemns passing judgment on others: “Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment. » John 7:24. Since we have seen that being judgmental probably only does harm rather than good, this means that its direct opposite, being non-judgmental, must have a reputation for getting much better results, whether in the meantime. or long term. One of these results is that it has a strong tendency to tackle emotional disasters like depression and frustration, thereby allowing the individual to become a very lively and stress-free individual. There is a tremendous amount of emotional exhaustion when one engages in judgment. Dr. Debasish Mridha says, “When you are non-judgmental, you are happy. Happiness depends on you, your thoughts, your attitudes, your ideas and your vision, and nothing else. the quality of life one lives and transfers it to the people around them. Additionally, by not being judgmental, people are more likely to enjoy each other's company than when the opposite was the case. The average human being craves acceptance. The majority hates being criticized even if it is obvious that they have made a mistake. So, adopting a non-judgmental style makes it easy to endear yourself to people. People seek attention, not condemnation, and would happily associate with people who are less likely to embark on a fault-finding mission every time they engage them in discussion.They are less self-conscious and become much freer and rely on great confidence, revealing their deepest desires and thoughts. This allows the person to have many cordial relationships and, inevitably, opens up a well of ideas and opportunities. Additionally, not passing judgment avoids the risk of also being judged. When people make judgments, they tend to be judged in the same way. Since the judgment is often wrong due to insubstantial information about what or who is being judged, the victim may become defensive and, in extreme cases, even go on the offensive, thereby destroying the morale of both parties involved. This is why it is advisable not to be judgmental, as this avoids being ridiculed due to erroneous and possibly sentimental conclusions. Additionally, not being judgmental can increase individuals' exposure to many possibilities that might have previously been hidden if they had remained critical. By passing judgment, we unconsciously transmit the venom of limitation. What is not clear to the judge is that this weaves a web around him that prevents him from foreseeing the vast possibilities that could have opened up to him and to the one being judged only if he had been less critical. Ellen J. Barrier said, “Before you condemn someone else for wrongdoing, check your behavior and see if you too have committed an act similar to or even worse than that person's. You will then no longer be able to judge. »The power lies in everyone. This power can be suppressed, aroused or promoted depending on the resources available to the individual. One of these resources is being able to be listened to without fear of being judged. Therefore, non-judgmental behavior maximizes experiences and opportunities for both parties to engage in conversation. However, not being judgmental requires less physical and mental energy to deploy. A lot of strength goes into making judgments about someone. The brain would need a greater current discharge to be able to analyze, interpret and draw conclusions. This can be very tiring, especially since there may be many elements to analyze about the situation or the individual. This not only means that a lot of time is used, but also that the muscles and mind are under great strain. It is therefore wise not to be judgmental in order to avoid physical stress and time. waste on supposedly irrelevant topics. Finally, not passing judgment erases the notion of superiority. This ends the stigma and recognizes the idea that everyone has their own challenges and struggles. So it would be really unfair to start attaching a label or stereotype to anyone, since no one is immune to one form of flaw or another. It reinforces the doctrine of trust and freedom and takes into account that people have their differences and that these differences must be respected. Thus, non-judgment creates a world beautified by harmony and mutual respect. Coaching is a call to serve. It is a profession that is committed not only to guiding a client towards achieving their goals, but also to ensuring unquestionable respect for their privacy, their intellect, their emotions and their freedom. In coaching, there are no disciples and masters, nor leaders and followers. Most clients, after doing extensive research, already have an idea of ​​the do's and don'ts of coaching before hiring a coach. When a coach chooses to take a judgmental approach to sessions, the client may doubt the competenceand the professionalism of this coach. This could lead to an early breakdown of the relationship, which of course would destroy the original purpose of coaching which was to provide a solution to an urgent challenge. Calvin Coolidge said, “If we judge ourselves by our aspirations and everyone else solely by their behavior, we will soon reach a very wrong conclusion. In other cases, less decisive clients who may not want to end the relationship may just want to hang in there for a while. One thing remains clear, however: no customer will imagine that they are being judged. What could probably happen here is that rather than ending the relationship, a client may simply play the coach's game but become reticent in their words, revealing only those things they are certain they will not risk not to be judged. This will undoubtedly undermine the effectiveness of coaching and in the long run lead to frustration and a lack of fulfillment in the lives of both coach and client. Continually, clients who feel judged, particularly wrongly, may decide to take the defensive route. In doing so, they make excuses for their actions and attempt to not only prove that their actions are right, but also to justify that the decisions they made in the past were not irrational. When a client becomes defensive, the coaching relationship stagnates and no progress can be made because the client may perceive the sessions as a forum to justify their actions and avoid being humiliated. Another likely consequence of the judgment is that some customers may actually see this. as the ultimate standard model for dealing with the problems they encounter. The danger here is that this notion could push them to adopt this style in their relationships with others. Take for example a client whose wife continually accuses him of judging her. Isn't it obvious that the client now has a justification for his action since someone who is supposed to be a professional engages in the same act? This, of course, will not end the problem he is having at home and will also affect his respect for his coach in the long run. Coaching sessions require constant feedback from clients. The exercises are usually given to the client at the end of the sessions and appropriate feedback is required so that the coach can monitor the progress made so that the next step can be taken. However, when a client feels they are being judged, they tend to become selective and tortuous in the content of their feedback to the coach. As a result, the coach begins to work with lies and insufficient information, which will ultimately affect any potential success for both parties. In coaching, the fundamental skill is the coach's ability to listen at a much deeper level to detect hidden thoughts and feelings. that the client is trying to transmit. By making a judgment, the coach stops listening at an advanced level, but focuses on level 1 listening which is in itself selfish. He is then only able to hear his own voice and thoughts, leaving the client at the mercy of his own beliefs and perceptions. This will only ensure that the coach, not the client, takes ownership of the outcome of the sessions, which contrasts with the demands of a coaching relationship where the client discovers for themselves the path out of a challenge which he is confronted with. Highly sensitive people can become traumatized when manipulated by a judgmental coach. Being judgmental, as we have pointed out, sees all the negative aspects and, possibly, exaggerates them to the extreme detriment of the victim. For highly sensitive people, it is likely that their mind, instead of focusing on the agenda, ruminates on