A Response to Carroll's American Requiem In one passage, Carroll describes himself as two separate people; everyone seems to have their own convictions and beliefs. He says: “I was two people and, considered independently, each of me seemed to have a coherence and integrity that was belied by the fact that I could not bring them together. For a very long time I couldn't speak. If each of his halves were a real person, these two people would both be amazing, strong, and amazing. However, these two sides are contradictory in a single person. In another passage, Carroll describes his father as being "more firmly anchored in who he is than he has any right to be." If he says no, even to God, that's what he means. If he tells you he's going to kill you, count on it. What if he uses the word "love", but he almost never will. » Carroll and his father are described very differently. Carroll, torn in two, can't seem to form a whole person. He cannot reconcile these two halves. His father, on the other hand, is so confident that he knows exactly how he feels and has no need to be dishonest. He is firm in his beliefs. I think we've all felt at one time or another like Carroll...like we're living a double life. In high school, I would go out with my friends and do things my parents didn't know existed. At home, I was their daughter, their granddaughter. They had no idea who I was when I went out with my peers on the weekends. If my parents found out what my friends were doing, I would agree with them that it was stupid or wrong and say "oh yeah, I can't believe she would do that!" Of course, I had been there with her and done the same things. I looked good to my friends because I was like them; I looked good to my parents because I didn't look like my friends. I was two people. There was no way the two could coexist. I couldn't be the person I was with my friends when I was with my parents, and I couldn't be my parents' little girl when I was hanging out with my friends. Carroll says that for "a very long time, [he] couldn't speak." He was choking on his two separate lives; Who is James Carroll? It's difficult to speak with honesty and conviction when you don't exist. You are two people, but you are not really just anyone. On the other hand, his father is more of a person than we imagine. He says exactly what he means. You have to believe it. He has enough courage to say no to God because he really means it. Maybe we shouldn't say no to God, but at least when Carroll's father does it, he's honest. He doesn't lie to God. Is it better to follow God when it's not in your heart because you won't say "no" to Him, or is it better to be honest about it? I think we all wish, in one way or another, that we could be like that father and know exactly what we want and how we feel. That we can all be completely honest with everyone and ourselves. How is it that a father with such conviction can have a son divided into two halves? Is it the age difference...the maturity difference? Was this father the same way his son was when he was younger? { I don't know.}