Deborah Tannen is the author of the book You Just Don't Understand where she analyzes the different meanings of communication between men and women. Her research shows that women and men use the same words and expressions and yet can interpret and react differently to those same words and expressions. Tannen compares the two sexes to find that men use their conversation as a form of competition or to preserve their independence. For example, men talk about their knowledge of sports, cars, women, etc. Meanwhile, women attempt to foster intimacy through communication. For example, women often talk and have personal relationships. Throughout Tannen's book, she uses "intercultural communication" to describe the differences between men's and women's language. Tannen observed that “For men, conversation is how you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use conversation to preserve your independence. Women, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talking is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting down and talking. For boys, activities, doing things together, are essential. Sitting and talking is not an essential part of friendship. with" (Tannen 95). Tannen observed that communication begins with children. As a child grows, he learns to speak from his parents and peers. Boys and girls can grow up in the same home but learn to communicate differently with each other In groups, children often play with the same gender: girls with girls, boys with boys Although Tannen conducted a study on communication between men and women, she began. through children's interactions and communication His study concludes that boys tend to play outside in large groups that usually play: sports, army, or cops and robbers One boy in the group tends. to take control of the rest of the members, making him the leader Meanwhile, the girls play in small groups or pairs playing: house or dolls This type of game gives the girls equality to guarantee. that they will make a better friend. Tannen points out that boys' communication style is more competitive, arguing over who is the winner rather than who is the loser, while girls are less competitive in trying to make suggestions and compromise with others..